Say Yes: A Month of No Expectations

I know I know… this post is much later than anticipated! I have just been a busy bee. I’ve been travelling all over. I just got back from a trip where I visited London, Greece, and Belgium.

I’ve finally settled back into my normal routine at home and took the time to reflect on my month of YES! The concept of forcing yourself to say yes more is not a revolutionary thing. Multiple people have already tried this personal challenge. One of the people who has shared their journey is Shonda Rhimes. She decided to say yes for a year to things she normally would have turned down. I highly suggest you check out her book “Year of Yes” for her full experience. For me though, I am already quite an outgoing person, so this month wasn’t about getting out of my shell more but experiencing situations I normally wouldn’t find myself in because of judgments I might of had beforehand.

In order to stay true to this desire, I came up with a few simple questions to ask myself.

1. Is it safe?
2. Do I already have another commitment planned?
3. Can I afford it?

If all of the criteria was met with these 3 questions, I would do whatever the activity or action was. The main point of only asking these 3 questions was to avoid trying to decipher if I was going to have fun before even experiencing whatever it was. Normally when I get invited to something, I ask a ton of qualifying questions.

• Who is going to be there?
• What are you going to be doing?
• How long is it going to go for?
• What else is going on that day?

By sticking to those original 3 questions, I removed all assumptions and expectations.

Another reason I would turn down events was purely because I didn’t want to go. Now, don’t get me wrong, I 100% believe there is a time and place to schedule time just for yourself. The key take away here is to think about why you are saying no. If you are just going to sit at home for the 7th day and watch 10 hours of Netflix, maybe you should go out and do something.

What were some of the big things that happened because I said yes instead of no?

• Went to a party I didn’t want to go to
• Got a date from said party
• Created new friendships
• Skinny dipped at sunset
• Private catamaran tour in Greece
• Spontaneous concert

This month was a lot of fun, but honestly, I didn’t have any type of life changing awakening. I actually discovered that I already say yes a lot in my life! And when I was considering saying no, I found that it took little convincing to change my answer to yes. Ever since I was a young girl, I’ve always been outgoing, easily able to connect with people, and excited to try new things. I’ve really gained an appreciation for this part of my personality because I feel I’ve been blessed to have these qualities that enable me to put myself out there with less anxiety then most other people would experience.

For me, the biggest thing I learned is how to say yes without overthinking the activity. When you are always trying to decipher if the event or action is going to be fun “enough” for you to be there, you are missing out on the surprises that life can give you. By removing the “prerequisites” I had, I removed all expectations as well. This allowed me to be fully in the present and appreciate each moment I was in.

My challenge to you is to question yourself before saying no to something. And remember, it can be as big and uncomfortable as going to a huge party that you barely know anyone to as small as just saying yes to meet up with 1 friend for coffee. The point is to just ask yourself, do I really have a good reason to say no?

“Take every chance. Drop every fear.”
– Dr. Seuss